by Wendy, May 16, 2018

I was planting seedlings in our garden today and wondering, Am I happy?

It’s a normal question for anyone to ask from time to time in their lives. And today, probably stemmed from the fact that I was lamenting the need to work versus get our garden ready. But the fact remained that the garden did need t0 get planted, and I started pondering the flexibility of my life these days.

I’m grateful that what I do allows me to live this way. The joke I make to my husband is, “I’m a magician. I turn words into money.” Of course, writing is much more than that. But I know how incredibly fortunate I am right now.

In my previous job, I was so stressed out, that I couldn’t wait to escape it. Oh, the money was good! And I suppose if you like to market a luxury item geared toward a high-end market, it’s fine. However, I breathed a sigh of relief every time I crossed the bridge that signified the change from city to country. I didn’t enjoy having a fast-paced job or being in the city, no matter what the pay and benefits were.

My former boss didn’t understand my feelings. He thought someone intelligent and capable couldn’t possibly want something less than all of that.

But I didn’t want less.

I wanted more. More time for me, more time for what I love, more time for my family and friends, and more time where I could just genuinely be me, instead of the version of me the company demanded.

Maybe I don’t get a steady paycheck anymore. Yes, now I’m paying 30% taxes instead of 15%, because I no longer have an employer to pick up the other half. True, I pay taxes instead of receiving a refund. Also true that I am not rich. At least, not financially.

I am, however, immeasurably happy when I can do something like this: sit on a tree stump in my backyard, watch my daughter flit through the sprinkler, and write. My time doesn’t belong to anyone but myself these days.

Charles Bukowski was onto something.

If you dream of the same thing, work on it now, rather than waiting. It took me a long time to get here and I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.

Making a House a Home

by Wendy, May 14, 2018

We’ve been working on home improvements every since we bought our home in 2013. This wasn’t a place we bought as a dream home. No, no, no. This was a place we bought with the idea of making it a place we would want to live. Location and size were the biggest factors in our purchasing decision. That and the fact that we could buy the house for cash and close in 2 weeks, since we had just returned from living overseas and didn’t want to put family out by staying with them a long time.

The idea of home is rather nebulous, really. We have a lot of sayings about it, though, right? “Home is where the heart is” and “There’s no place like home.” Some people even feel that home has nothing to do with physical location, but where certain people live.

For me, home is very much a physical place entwined with a sense of comfort, security, nostalgia, and other things too nebulous to name. I’m a person who likes to set down roots in a place that I can call my own. That’s also one of the reasons I like quiet neighborhoods, country settings, and ownership instead of renting. I’m also one of those people who can be happy pretty much anywhere. Just tell me where I need to be and I’ll set about making my own cozy little nook there.

Of course, what we’re doing is physical – tearing out walls and old wiring, ceilings and insulation, carpets and floors, windows and doors – and replacing tangible aspects. In essence, we’re rebuilding our house from the ground up. And what we’re doing is infusing it with the things that take it beyond just being a physical space.

Every decision made is something deeper than just “What color should the walls be?” The physical location we’ve chosen to live in means something to my husband. The palette we’ve chosen means something to me. For us, these tangible aspects connect with memories and emotions, and blend together seamlessly to make us feel like we’re home.

Okay, maybe my color palette shows that the home that will always be in my heart is back where I grew up. But I think we can have more than one home, don’t you?

Be Picky

by Wendy, May 7, 2018

When I moved overseas, I mused that I probably better make friends with everyone I possibly could, since the opportunities to meet people on a small military base were probably few and far between. I’ll never forget what the Airman performing all our in-processing paperwork said to me. She said, “Be picky.” It didn’t matter that opportunities to meet people were limited. It was still perfectly fine to have my own personal standards and, yes, even to decide I didn’t want to be friends with someone; that I didn’t have to force a friendship merely because we happened to be in the same place at the same time.

Over the years, I’ve had various blogs. They’ve talked about the things that are most important to me: my passions, my family, and my spirituality. I’ve also come to realize I’m not fond of forging relationships online. They can be nice, but I want to live in the moment, here and now. So I’ve decided to be picky with my social media, how I interact online, and how I go through life. Whatever the reason is, right now I want to:

Share my time with my family
Spend time with my friends
Do what I love

Oh, I suppose that’s most of us, right? I’m not claiming I want to do anything exciting or ground-breaking. I just want to step away from the constant world of social media, of treating life like a reality show meant to be watched, instead of lived.

So if I’m not aware you’re pregnant, engaged, graduating, moving, or anything else, it’s not because I don’t care. It’s because I want to hear it directly from you over a cup of coffee or in an email, so I can express my sentiments back to you in a manner that is more private than a Facebook “Love” or “Congratulations” on your post. Maybe it’s nostalgic of me or – yes – picky, but I think all of us have the right be picky with regard to how we interact with our family and friends, and live our lives.

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