by Wendy, September 4, 2019

Don’t deny it – you know it is. At least, I know it is by mid-August. Many people follow the calendar-marked days for when the seasons begin, but not me. I pay attention to other cues, the ones I see in nature every year. Mid-August to December is my absolute favorite time of year and here’s why.

For me, August signals the end of summer. The days are still long, but you can tell it’s getting darker earlier. The singing of cicadas and crickets gentles from the more obnoxious tones we heard throughout June and July. Here in the Midwest, the cornfields go from tall and green to flat tracts of land, corn harvested to leave behind stalks that quickly turn golden-brown.

In September, certain animals pass through our yard with increase frequency. We see more deer, hear more coyote laughter, receive a visit from the ducks and geese on their way to warmer climates, and then one last hurrah from the blue herons. Everything that was green goes golden, and the leaves will start changing before the end of the month.

This time of year, I get extra nostalgic for home. While I like living in the Midwest, I will never love it. It’s “home” in the sense that I have a dwelling built here, but my heart 1500 miles away, north and east. Still, the nice thing about Nebraska is that the seasons are similar to New England’s, if a few weeks behind. So I can almost pretend I’m where I want to be.

As far as this time of year, I think most Witches prefer autumn, wherever they live. Why do we feel this way? Various reasons, of course. For those who follow the Oak King/Holly King mythos, the Holly King defeated the Oak King at the Summer Solstice and now reigns. I tend to go with the Wheel of the Year imagery. The wheel turns to the dark half of the year. Why do I love it?

Something about the “hibernation” brings out the desire to work harder, to prepare for and push and survive through winter. The longer nights make me want to cozy up with books or family history research. Genealogy is a wonderfully productive passion that has many facets – not just finding out ancestors’ stories, but also sharing them. I love the sights and smells of autumn, from the leaves to the crackling fire on the hearth.

Daniel cooks and bakes all kinds of comfort food this time of year. Some days, I come home to cookies, pies, and breads. Maybe there will be shepherd’s pie or beef stew for dinner. Who knows? Whatever it is, it will warm me up and make me think of the times my family got together for dinner.

I love to look back on the year and see what goals I reached, and then look forward and set goals for the new year. And, on a very basic, personal comfort level, I don’t miss sweating in the heat! I think I’m actually allergic to summer, since my skin flushes the moment I step outside when it’s 80+ degrees. 😉

This turning inward is more productive and useful than the “lazy days” of summer. And while I prefer it, I recognize that we need both. Hence, my effort (is that an oxymoron?) to relax and let go over the summer months. In the fall, I don’t feel so bad about giving in to my desire to go, go, GO! Because even sitting in front of the fireplace with my laptop, working on genealogy or writing means I’m getting something done.

Of course, it’s not fall without a look at death. As a Witch, I have no issue with this. It’s going to come, eventually, and I think it’s better to look it in the face than worry about what it brings. The earth slumbers and we know its “death” is temporary. Bulbs will bloom again in the spring, leaves will return, and the long nights of darkness will give way to more hours of daylight. Many of us who identify as Pagan take this time to honor those who have passed, to visit with them, and share our remembrances.

As the Autumnal Equinox approaches, I’m not filled with dread for the coming winter – not even of the practical “Hope it doesn’t snow when I have to drive to work” variety. I’m ready to follow wherever the darkness of the days leads and come out on the other side.

To the Cass County Fair | Our Prairie Nest

Many Things & Not Enough

by Wendy, September 2, 2019

So I need to write this now or forget entirely. Though there is no forgetting how remiss I’ve been in giving my blog love. I have this beautiful website and haven’t posted in an age. Not that it matters to anyone but me, but I do like sharing, especially when it comes to genealogy and witchcraft. It needs to happen more often.

Summer isn’t an excuse. Yes, I slowed down and enjoyed every moment until recently. In fact, I think I’ve learned to slow down in general. At least a little…

If you look at what I do – work full time, write full time, lead Girl Scouts (and I’m probably going to flail helplessly there for the next few years – eek!), and find time for family and hobbies – you would probably disagree. But, honestly, that’s “slow” for me, even if you include binge-watching “Outlander” and cross-stitching and trying to read a book a month.

Fall hasn’t gotten off to the best start, either. My beloved great-aunt Jo passed away on August 30. Simply put, it sucks. Aunt Jo meant so much to so many people. She never married or had children of her own. In a way, all of us were her children and grandchildren. She was the keeper of the family history, one of the people I picked up the genealogy bug from, and the person who wanted to keep family together.

I got the news on Friday when I got home from work. When I did, I closed the bedroom door and cried. I hate grieving in front of people. Ever since then, I’ve had a lump in the center of my chest. Sometimes, it loosens and I can breathe. Other times, it’s so tight, I can’t help but cry. I know it’ll come and go, and the idea of Aunt Jo being gone is surreal at the moment. If I could be in Massachusetts for her funeral, I would. But I can’t and that sucks, too.

Life doesn’t really slow down until you die, does it? Maybe there’s a trick to it or maybe all we can do is pretend to stop and smell the roses, all the while knowing time is doing its own thing, whether we like it or not.

Daniel asked me earlier this year when I’ll “stop” doing genealogy. I couldn’t help but squawk back at him, “When I answer all the questions!”

I guess that’s what keeps this inquisitive Sagittarius pushing so hard from day to day. That’s how I live my life – trying to answer the questions. What about you?

Family in Our Heart

by Wendy, February 16, 2019

DNA is a wonderful tool for the family historian. But what happens when the unexpected comes up, when your parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents aren’t connected to you biologically, after all?

I’ve encountered so many surprises thanks to DNA. My own parents? Both mine. My sister? Stuck with being my sister. And my first and second cousins? Yeah, sorry guys, you’re also stuck with me.

There have been adoptees thrilled to find family because, hey, that’s usually what they’re looking for when they test their DNA. I’ve had wonderful interactions with these folks.

And then there are the finds that make a person take pause… maybe they don’t even want to acknowledge it. I’ve seen it with both DNA matches I don’t know, but have tried to connect with, and my own family.

Last year, I discovered that my grandfather’s father, wasn’t actually his father. At least, not biologically. DNA gave us a clear pathway to his paternal heritage.

However, that doesn’t change who his family is – the people who took him into their hearts, raised him and loved him. You see, biology can be fascinating. I love having a new facet to my family tree to explore, another aspect of my genetic identity.

But, as far as family? It will always be the people who were there for Grandpa.

So if you’ve taken a DNA test and are, to put it bluntly, freaked out by the results, it’s okay. You’re allowed to be freaked out. You’re also allowed to feel hurt, betrayed, sad, and grieve about it.

Know, also, that the people you find – those unexpected matches who reach out to you and say “Hello, cousin” – don’t want to replace your family in any way, shape or form. Most of the time, if we message you, it’s because we want to connect, to know you, and to help you know more about whatever you’re trying to find.

Likewise, when we find out a parent, grandparent, or great-grandparent wasn’t the person we were actually raised knowing, that doesn’t change who our family is. If anything, it makes our family bigger, because there’s genetic family… and then there’s the family that chooses to be there for you, no matter what.

2019: The Year I Find Emma

by Wendy, January 4, 2019

I am confident that 2019 will be my year – the year I find the origin of my great-great grandmother, Emma Anna Murphy. Emma, who married first a Mr. Reagan and then my great-great grandfather, Erastus Bartlett Shaw of Middleborough, Massachusetts in 1888.

The first time I tested my DNA was in 2006, before FTDNA offered Family Finder or Ancestry DNA became a thing. The only option available to me was mtDNA, which wasn’t applicable to Emma, but I still wanted to get “in” on this technology. I hoped that this new tool would help me break down the looming Emma brick wall. Since then, I’ve followed up with several autosomal tests, had my father test, and also seen other relatives on that side of the family test.

Now, after 25+ years of attempting to either dismantle or climb it, I think the end is in sight (despite a professional genealogy firm telling me the prognosis of a search for Emma was “poor”)! The technique that I believe will yield answers is that of creating genetic networks or DNA match clusters.

I found that creating a spreadsheet that sorted all DNA matches known to connect to my father’s mother – and therefore, potentially, Emma – was the way to go. Here’s a look at what I did:

You could probably create a network like this in mere moments using DNA Gedcom or Genetic Affairs, but I did this by hand in Excel, person by person, because I wanted to look at each person individually. The process allows us to see patterns in our matches in a different way.

How did I do it? First, this was made based upon my father’s DNA matches. Since Emma is his great-grandmother, it makes sense to work off Dad’s DNA instead of my own. He’s a generation closer to her and thus ought to have more of her DNA than me or my sister do.

I then took the 4 close matches he has who are confirmed as maternal matches. They are my father’s half-niece, his great-niece, a second cousin, and a first cousin, once removed. While the half-niece is my generation and the great-niece is even more generations removed from Emma, they are still useful for pinpointing maternal-only matches for my father. Why? Because my grandmother was married twice and her eldest son (father of the half-niece) and daughter (grandmother of the great-niece) were from her first marriage, while her two younger sons (my other uncle and my father) were from her second marriage, to my grandfather. Thus, these two nieces allow me to absolutely rule out my father’s paternal matches.

Next, I looked at the first cousin, once removed. She is actually a first cousin we didn’t know my grandmother had and I’m sure there’s a story there that the DNA match herself doesn’t even know (one I’ve been trying to approach as sensitively as possible with her). But that isn’t the focus of this post. The nice thing is, I can actually rule out the first cousin, once removed, because she connects to my grandmother’s maternal side, and my focus is my grandmother’s paternal grandmother.

With that large grouping of people in gray set aside, that allows me to move on to the peach, pink, and green matches. A review of the green matches shared with my father’s great-niece didn’t give me much hope that I would find my answer there.

So my focus is on the peach and pink clusters. I’m already biased toward one of them, because two of the matches in it who only match me, my cousins, and one another appear to be likely candidates. However, ruling out all others also helps in this instance, to ensure I’m not chasing the “wrong” cousins. I’ll definitely post updates as I work through this project and let you know if I’m successful!

Corn and Black Bean Burritos | Our Prairie Nest

Corn & Black Bean Burritos

by Wendy, October 8, 2018

When it comes to food, I’m a by-the-book person. I don’t experiment with recipes much, if at all, but I decided to try that tonight and my daughter liked it so much, she finished her dinner before the rest of us! In fact, I didn’t expect this to taste so much better than the usual recipe I go by from a book (sorry, book!), so I didn’t take pictures of the food. Just go with it. 😉

Corn & Black Bean Burritos

You need:

1 cup frozen corn

1 can black beans

1/4 cup diced green pepper

1/4 cup diced onion

Chili powder (to taste)

1 tbsp olive oil

Up to 9 flour tortillas (or as many as you want for now; you can always save the rest for later)

Directions

Heat corn in microwave for 5 minutes. Drain black beans. Rinse, if desired. Meanwhile, warm olive oil in small frying pan (we use cast iron) over medium heat.
Add diced onion and pepper to oil, and stir while sautéing, about 5 minutes.
Add black beans to frying pan and sprinkle chili powder to taste (I like to do a layer over the entire pan). Stir beans, onions, and peppers together, sautéing for a few minutes.
Drain corn and add to frying pan. Add more chili powder, if desired. Stir vegetables together.
Prepare flour tortillas either by heating them up in the microwave for 10 seconds or by heating for 30-60 seconds (or until browned) on each side in a dry, ungreased skillet (this is the tastier way to do it!).
Spoon mix into tortillas, add cheese and anything else you want (sour cream is great on these), and eat!

If you’re cooking for more than 2 people, it helps to have a second person to warm the tortillas and pass them to you for filling or vice versa as they’re ready, so everything doesn’t sit out and get cold.

Rice makes a great side dish with this. I stock up on rice sides whenever they’re on sale for something easy to make while I’m doing a more involved recipe. If you don’t like white or red onions, scallions would also be delicious. This is a super light, vegetarian (but not vegan) meal with a lot of flavor for very little effort and money.

My September Ipsy Glam Bag

by Wendy, September 24, 2018

I love receiving my Ipsy Glam Bag every month. It’s kind of addictive, especially when you’re frugal and want to enjoy little luxuries. 😉 Every Glam Bag comes with items that are supposed to work best for your skin or complexion. They can be hit or miss, but I don’t mind. I’ve found products I love enough to buy and products I’ve actually thrown away because they were too far off the mark for me. Here’s a look at what came in my September Glam Bag.

THE CRÈME SHOP 2-in-1 Facial Foam Cleanser

I wanted to like this cleanser, because foam generally works well for cleaning my oily skin. Unfortunately, this product left a filmy residue. Not a product for me, or people with oily skin in general, but maybe for someone else!

ELIZABETH MOTT Face Primer

This product works perfectly to prepare, prime, and smooth skin for make-up. I smoothed it on, waited a few moments, and then on went the makeup. It lasted throughout an event I attended and kept my skin surprisingly matte, which I LOVE. Especially considering I was walking around in 90-degree heat and have oily skin, keeping it from going shiny is a feat few other products have achieved. This product is a keeper.

LXMI Créme Du Nil

Looks, feels, and smells like your grandmother’s moisturizer. This stuff is far too rich for oily skin like mine. I really wanted to like it, but it’s thick and heavy. Just ‘too much moisturizer’ for what I need, but probably better for someone with skin that needs this kind of hydration.

KATHERINE COSMETICS Eyeshadow in Espresso

Love, love, love this shade! It’s the perfect brown – a medium brown that you can blend to be a bit more sheer or make darker. Gives a nice, subtle crease shadow as well as color along the lid. Works for both day or night. Nice if you want the smokey eye look, but don’t like to use gray or go too dark.

LUXIE BEAUTY Wonder Woman Detail Tapered Blender 140

What a fabulous brush. It’s perfect for blending concealer under the eyes. The bristles are soft, yet firm thanks to the tapered texture. Also great for blending in other smaller areas.

*Note: if you click the links to Ipsy, I don’t get paid or anything like that (how cool would that be, though?). But I do receive points for referring people who sign up to get a Glam Bag, and those points translate into free products here and there.

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